The Review:

Are you ready for 2020? Lil Uzi Vert is.

Today, he dropped his newest single in preparation for his long-awaited album, Eternal Atake. Given Uzi’s label politics, this album has grown to be one of the most anticipated trap albums of recent memory since Whole Lotta Red. “New Patek”, which came out in September of 2018, is Uzi’s longest single and sees him rapping non-stop for six minutes straight. It was quite ambitious; a six minute trap song might be a tough sell for a lot of people. For a while, though, that was the only material from Eternal Atake we had… until Uzi said it was cut from the current track list and then it wasn’t. The months following saw Uzi announce his retirement from the rap game and publicly air out his grievances with Generation Now label heads, Don Cannon and DJ Drama. Withholding their names, he claimed that his contract with Generation Now has prevented him from releasing new music as he pleases. In March, DJ Drama claimed that it was Uzi who could drop Eternal Atake whenever he wants. I don’t know, I don’t care, but they need to figure it out on their own. On April 8th of this year, he came out of retirement (I guess?) and dropped two singles in “That’s a Rack” and “Sanguine Paradise”. Both singles were just okay, but neither provided any news on the release of the album. Today, however, fans were blessed with a new single.

We still know nothing about an Eternal Atake release date, but the title of the single, “Futsal Shuffle 2020”, assures fans that it should be dropping in 2020. What month is still anyone’s guess…

“Futsal Shuffle 2020” is a bright, fast-paced, dancey trap song that was made for the club. Every house party all over the world will play the shit out of it. The second I heard the snippet of this song last week, I knew it would take over the next few months of the new year. The instrumental isn’t the only thing that’s fast. Lil Uzi Vert has the vocal agility of a kid playing double dutch, with his flows coming through correct with some cheeky quotables. Lines like “She suck my dick ’til she get delirious” and “I was fuckin’ on your bitch/She was riding on my dick, she ain’t need two pedals” are some examples of Uzi’s endearing charm here. He’s stood out from the pack throughout the years because of his skill behind the mic and his ear for melody. Songs like the Pharrell-assisted “Neon Guts”, “New Patek”, “XO Tour Lif3”, and his breakout verse on the Migos’ single “Bad and Boujee” are testaments to that skill. Here on “Futsal Shuffle 2020”, both of those qualities shine in equal parts. The EDM synths that are all over the track give it its main melody and rhythm, but what will help propel the popularity of this song is something else completely. If you thought the name sounded like a dance, that’s because there is one. It’s called, you guessed it, the Futsal Shuffle, and Uzi showed it off in a video he posted to Instagram on November 30th. Some research on YouTube shows that those who have accomplished learning the dance went on to say it’s quite difficult to learn. My guess is that large learning curve will be a part of the meme this song will bring with it, and while it’s too soon to tell, I have a damn good feeling about it.

What I do know for sure is that “Futsal Shuffle 2020” is a fun song with a fun dance that I cannot do, and the eventual wave of memes that will come from it will probably be more fun than the song itself.

And that’s okay.

The Pairing:

When you’re done Futsal Shuffling at Club Space or or Wood Tavern or wherever you go to dance, you’re probably going to be hungry. Here at Taste Notes of Miami, we get that. Remember, though, it’s not good to consume too many calories past a certain time, but if you’re going to eat something, we have the perfect late-night snack in mind.

La Moon Restaurant is within walking distance from Blackbird Ordinary on the intersection of 8th Street and Brickell Plaza. They’re open from 10 at night to 11 in the morning. I’ll repeat that for you: 11 in the morning. There’s no rush to get there, but once you do, you’ll find some of the cheapest Colombian empanadas in the Downtown/Brickell area. At $1.90 a piece, La Moon’s beef empanadas hit that spot. They’re not very big, but a few will take care of that craving. If you’re vegetarian, they also have a cheese empanada that’s pretty scrumptious. Just make sure you come back for their hot dogs the next time you’re in the area. They’re mostly known for them.